Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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