No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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