i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
