He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
