No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
