around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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