She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
