Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
