Plan B is the new Plan A
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
