Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
