As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
