ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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