Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
