As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
