Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
