You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
