Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
