But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
