After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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