So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
