i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
