Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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