1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sarcasm needs its own font
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
