i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Come see our sink grown plant.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize