sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
