So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
