isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
