I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize