no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
