I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
