I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up under a house in Key West
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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