That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
