Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
