Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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