Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
