yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
