I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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