mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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