Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
