Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
