Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He felt like a one man threesome
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
