ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
