I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
