you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
