At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
