I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
