Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
