would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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