Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I look better un-naked...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
