All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize