4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
