I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
