North Korea, Best Korea!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
