he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
