let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
