you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
