this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
