The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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