dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
